Archive for February, 2011

Morons of the Day: Robbers lose $40 trying to rob gun store

Posted in Culture, FAIL, Thumbs Up! on February 22, 2011 by DaMook

If you were going to rob a place, what is one of the last places you would think of besides, maybe, a police station? A gun store perhaps? Yeah, that wouldn’t be too bright – unless you’re a moron (story here).

Two men Thursday used an unloaded revolver to try to rob a Northland gun store, even though the clerk wore a shoulder holster with a semiautomatic handgun in plain view.

Not surprisingly, the holdup failed miserably. In fact, the robbers lost $40.

They could have lost more, said the 65-year-old clerk, who didn’t want his name published.

“I wear this gun like this, hoping it will be a deterrent,” the clerk said Friday. “But he (the gunman) basically made his own decision to take the chance of dying — and he just about did.”

It all started about 2 p.m. when one of the robbers came into Guns Unlimited, 8113 N. Oak Trafficway, and asked for a box of .357 Magnum ammunition. The clerk told him it would cost about $50. The man, who looked to be in his 20s, said he needed to get more money and left.

Just before 5 p.m., he returned with a partner and said he wanted to buy the ammunition. The clerk looked at his identification to check his age, rang up the sale and told the man he owed $50.19. The man slid two $20 bills onto the counter.

“You’re $10.19 short,” the clerk said.

The man pulled a blue .357 revolver with a 4-inch barrel from his waistband, pointed it at the clerk and said, “Give me your money!”

The clerk had practiced for just such an occasion. He was ready.

He zeroed in on the robber’s cylinder and saw it was empty as he reached for his own gun and pulled it from its holster.

“His eyes got as big as two dinner plates,” the clerk said. “Before I got mine pointed at him, he ran to the door at, like, 95 mph. I’m surprised he didn’t bust the glass out of the door.”

The clerk, who had started to squeeze his trigger, relaxed his finger as the robbers fled, leaving behind the two $20 bills.

“I was going to shoot him,” the clerk said. “Everything that could have gone wrong could have, but didn’t.”

The cops haven’t caught these two idiots yet but something tells me that sooner or later they’ll be Darwin Award recipients.

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Green food of the future – Insects

Posted in Cool Stuff, Culture, Thumbs Up! on February 22, 2011 by DaMook
plate of insects

YUMMY!!!

It’s called Entomophagy (eating insects) and it’s practiced around the world – mostly in developing countries where food production and distribution lags behind demand from growing populations. Most western cultures shun insects as a food source except as novelty items. However with a growing worldwide food shortage, insects may just be the “green” food of the future (article here from WSJ).

At the London restaurant Archipelago, diners can order the $11 Baby Bee Brulee: a creamy custard topped with a crunchy little bee. In New York, the Mexican restaurant Toloache offers $11 chapulines tacos: two tacos stuffed with Oaxacan-style dried grasshoppers.

Could beetles, dragonfly larvae and water bug caviar be the meat of the future? As the global population booms and demand strains the world’s supply of meat, there’s a growing need for alternate animal proteins. Insects are high in protein, B vitamins and minerals like iron and zinc, and they’re low in fat. Insects are easier to raise than livestock, and they produce less waste. Insects are abundant. Of all the known animal species, 80% walk on six legs; over 1,000 edible species have been identified. And the taste? It’s often described as “nutty.”

The vast majority of the developing world already eats insects. In Laos and Thailand, weaver-ant pupae are a highly prized and nutritious delicacy. They are prepared with shallots, lettuce, chilies, lime and spices and served with sticky rice. Further back in history, the ancient Romans considered beetle larvae to be gourmet fare, and the Old Testament mentions eating crickets and grasshoppers. In the 20th century, the Japanese emperor Hirohito’s favorite meal was a mixture of cooked rice, canned wasps (including larvae, pupae and adults), soy sauce and sugar.

Insects are easy to raise (hell, they’re everywhere), are less wasteful, and provide a great source of low-fat protein. What’s not to like here?

Meanwhile, our food needs are on the rise. The human population is expected to grow from six billion in 2000 to nine billion in 2050. Meat production is expected to double in the same period, as demand grows from rising wealth. Pastures and fodder already use up 70% of all agricultural land, so increasing livestock production would require expanding agricultural acreage at the expense of rain forests and other natural lands. Officials at the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization recently predicted that beef could become an extreme luxury item by 2050, like caviar, due to rising production costs.

Raising insects for food would avoid many of the problems associated with livestock. For instance, swine and humans are similar enough that they can share many diseases. Such co-infection can yield new disease strains that are lethal to humans, as happened during a swine fever outbreak in the Netherlands in the late 1990s. Because insects are so different from us, such risks are accordingly lower.

Insects are also cold-blooded, so they don’t need as much feed as animals like pigs and cows, which consume more energy to maintain their body temperatures. Ten pounds of feed yields one pound of beef, three pounds of pork, five pounds of chicken and up to six pounds of insect meat.

Insects produce less waste, too. The proportion of livestock that is not edible after processing is 30% for pork, 35% for chicken, 45% for beef and 65% for lamb. By contrast, only 20% of a cricket is inedible.

Has anyone told Mrs. dear comrade leader about this yet? It’s perfect for her “Let’s Move” war on obesity! We could start forcing fast food joints to sell “cricketburgers,” mealworm fries, and dung beetle tacos – healthy, nutritious, and low-fat. The perfect “green” food! Might be a tough sell with kids, though.

Though it is true that intentionally eating insects is common only in developing countries, everyone already eats some amount of insects. The average person consumes about a pound of insects per year, mostly mixed into other foods. In the U.S., most processed foods contain small amounts of insects, within limits set by the Food and Drug Administration. For chocolate, the FDA limit is 60 insect fragments per 100 grams. Peanut butter can have up to 30 insect parts per 100 grams, and fruit juice can have five fruit-fly eggs and one or two larvae per 250 milliliters (just over a cup). We also use many insect products to dye our foods, such as the red dye cochineal in imitation crab sticks, Campari and candies. So we’re already some of the way there in making six-legged creatures a regular part of our diet.

Not long ago, foods like kiwis and sushi weren’t widely known or available. It is quite likely that in 2020 we will look back in surprise at the era when our menus didn’t include locusts, beetle larvae, dragonfly larvae, crickets and other insect delights.

Who knows? Maybe by 2020 we’ll be too poor to eat anything but insects?

Powerhorse “milkshake” – uh, no thanks

Posted in Cool Stuff, Culture, Huh? WTF?, Humor, Thumbs Up! on February 20, 2011 by DaMook
Powerhorse milkshake

It's made from WHAT???

If you’re planning on attending the Hokitika Wildfoods festival in New Zealand next month, you might want to think twice if someone offers you a Powerhorse milkshake. It might be delicious but I’m thinking, “Thanks, but no thanks.” (story here)

New Zealanders will be serving up glasses of horse semen at the famed Hokitika Wildfoods festival next month, a “delicacy” that racehorse owner Lindsay Kerslake says will have extreme foodies “raring to go”.

“Horses are pure testosterone, you know. They have hardly any cholesterol, so the idea is you knock it back and feel like a stallion yourself,” said Mr Kerslake, of Christchurch.

“You’ll have as much zizz as a stallion for a week afterwards.”

The NZ$10 shots won’t be for the faint-hearted.

Even the organiser of the edgy festival, Mike Keenan, said he wouldn’t be letting the drink pass his lips.

“God no, it’s definitely not to my taste, but you’ll be shocked how many people will go for it,” he said.

The keenest will be able to drink it au naturel, but the shots will also be available in cherry, licorice and banoffee pie flavours.

“You often hear from a female perspective that semen has an awful alkaline taste, so we thought we’d better make it more user-friendly. Think of it like a milkshake,” said Mr Kerslake, who is yet to sample the delight himself.

“And it’s all safe – we’re getting the semen in the same way breeders do, using an artificial vagina and storing it in the formula they use.”

The drink, to be served up by women brandishing riding whips, will be washed down with a chaser similar to Red Bull but more aptly named “Powerhorse”.

Those krazy Kiwis!

Ridiculous lawsuit of the day – from Canada

Posted in Culture, Huh? WTF?, UGH! on February 20, 2011 by DaMook

Just to prove that the US isn’t the only place where you can find a shyster lawyer to file a ridiculous lawsuit, comes this story from our friends in the Great White North (h/t to my buddy, The Morb).

Nearly three years after she witnessed the beheading of a man on a Greyhound bus, a London woman says she feels her “life’s been turned upside down.”Kayli Shaw, 24, of London, Ont., and Debra Tucker, of Port Colborne, Ont., are suing Greyhound Canada, the RCMP, the federal government and Vince Li, the man who stabbed Tim McLean to death before mutilating and beheading his body, for their suffering since witnessing the attack the night of July 30, 2008 near Portage La Prairie, Man.

“My life’s been turned upside down,” Shaw said Thursday in a brief interview after explaining her lawyer advised her not to talk to the media.

“Some days, I don’t know how I make it through the day.”

The two women filed identical statements of claim Wednesday, naming the same defendants in their lawsuits.

McLean was savagely attacked as he slept on the bus taking him from Edmonton to Winnipeg.

Both plaintiffs are seeking general damages in the amount of $1 million, “nervous shock damages” of $1 million and $1 million in special damages.

More on this bizarre story here. What makes this lawsuit so ridiculous is the fact that these two women were already off the bus and witnessed the beheading and other depraved acts from outside the bus. In other words, instead of fleeing the scene, they stood outside the bus and watched.

In their statements of claim, the two women fault the RCMP for failing to remove Li from the bus for more than five hours, during which he mutilated McLean’s body and displayed his “acts of deprivation” to passengers waiting outside the bus.

So it’s the fault of the bus company, police and government that these two idiots subjected themselves to a traumatic event that has left them incapable of dealing with life? And $3M (less lawyer fees) will fix that? The sad part is that they will probably get some type of settlement – just to go away.

Stop calling it Obamacare!

Posted in BIG Government, Congress, Culture, The Regime, Thumbs Up! on February 20, 2011 by DaMook

For over two years the massive government takeover of the health care industry, passed against the will of the people, has been known as “Obamacare.” Politicians, pundits, news media, bloggers – for and against, have used this term. After all, who wants to call it The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA), when one word is sufficient? And wasn’t this massive, economy-killing boot-to-the-face a shining legislative victory for our dear comrade leader and the democrats? It should have an appropriate moniker.

According to this story (from The Hill), at least one democrat now believes that the term is somehow “divisive” and shouldn’t be used.

House Republicans and Democrats started Friday morning’s debate over whether to defund last year’s healthcare law, and as part of this debate sparred over whether members should be allowed to call that law “ObamaCare.”

After two House Republicans called it “ObamaCare,” Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.) asked the chairman whether these “disparaging” remarks should be allowed on the House floor.

“That is a disparaging reference to the president of the United States; it is meant as a disparaging reference to the president of the United States, and it is clearly in violation of the House rules against that,” she said.

Because Wasserman Schultz only asked if it would be appropriate to curb the use of the term “ObamaCare,” the chairman said he would not rule on a hypothetical. But he did urge members to “refrain from engaging in personalities or descriptions about personalities in general.”

Hey Debbie, if this is such a good piece of legislation, how can it be disparaging to call it Obamacare? You would think the dear comrade would want his name attached  to it. And where have you been for the last two years while everyone has been calling it Obamacare?

The indirect warning had no effect on Republicans. Rep. Denny Rehberg (Mont.), who sponsored the amendment to defund the law, said he refers to it as ObamaCare and said, “You would think he wants his name attached to his signature legislation.

“So we call it what it is,” he continued. “It is ObamaCare. It’s a travesty. It is big government. It is not controlling healthcare costs, and it needs to be repealed and today we’re going to try to defund it to the best of our ability. And if we’re not successful this time, we’re going to try again and again and again until we either have a Senate that’s willing to pass it or a president that understands that we cannot do this to the American people.”

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) followed Rehberg, and within minutes also called the law “ObamaCare.”

It is what it is…

FAIL: Feds “accidently” shut down 84,000 websites for bogus child porn

Posted in BIG Government, Computers and Technology, FAIL, Government Folly, UGH! on February 17, 2011 by DaMook

porn bannerWith laser-guided precision, the DOJ and Homeland Security dropped the hammer on some child porn websites over the weekend – 84,000 of them. The websites were seized and home pages were replaced with a page accusing them of distributing child porn. Great! Uh, wait a minute… I smell a FAIL coming… Ah yes, here it is (from Gizmodo):

“Operation Protect Our Children” sounded great! The Department of Justice and Homeland Security’s tag-team beatdown was supposed to seize ten criminal sites this past weekend. Instead, it shuttered 84,000 innocent domains. And replaced them with a banner labeling them as child porn traffickers. Whoops!

The 83,990 sites that weren’t hosting underage porn were stuck with a the gigantic graphic seen here for days after the error was realized. Not exactly a trivial accusation—and an extremely damaging one for the sites, which were mostly personal and small business pages. FreeDNS—the domain service behind the affected sites—was forced to comply with the takedown request by court order, but was clearly (and rightfully) pissed at the misuse of their system: “freedns.afraid.org has never allowed this type of abuse,” they commented. At the moment, nobody has any idea how the tremendous screwup happened.

The government’s response to this grossly inept boot-to-the-face? Oh well, at least we got those 10 kiddie porn sites shut down.

Surely, DoJ and DHS must be a little red in the face over the whole thing. Right? Right..? Nope. In a beaming statement released yesterday, Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano heroically explained that “Each year, far too many children fall prey to sexual predators and all too often, these heinous acts are recorded in photos and on video and released on the Internet. DHS is committed to working with our law enforcement partners to shut down websites that promote child pornography to protect these children from further victimization.”

Child porn is certainly a disgusting problem and the purveyors should be vigorously prosecuted. Unfortunately the assclowns at DOJ and DHS used a tactical nuke instead of a flyswatter. The failure to at least admit that they made a mistake only rubs salt in the wound.

Why is our FAIL tolerance level so high for government?

Feds Accidentally Shut Down 84,000 Websites over Wrongful Kiddie Porn Accusation “Operation Protect Our Children” sounded great! The Department of Justice and Homeland Security‘s tag-team beatdown was supposed to seize ten criminal sites this past weekend. Instead, it shuttered 84,000 innocent domains. And replaced them with a banner labeling them as child porn traffickers. Whoops!

LA County employee dead in cubicle – no one notices

Posted in Culture, FAIL on February 16, 2011 by DaMook

Here’s a story (from KTLA) that is both sad and ironic.

An L.A. County employee apparently died while working in her cubicle on Friday, but no one noticed for quite some time.

51-year-old Rebecca Wells was found by a security guard on Saturday afternoon.

She was slumped over on her desk in the L.A. County Department of Internal Services.

“I came in Saturday to do a little work, and I saw them when they were taking her out,” co-worker Hattie Robertson told KTLA.

The exact time of death is not clear, but detectives say that, at worst, she had been dead for a day before her body was discovered.

The last time a co-worker saw her alive was Friday morning around 9:00 a.m., according to Downy police detectives.

Now she could have had a cubicle in a low traffic area and no one noticed her slumped over her desk. Or if they did, thought it was normal for someone to be slumped over her desk – after all, it is a government office. Having worked in a “cube farm” I find it almost inconceivable that no one noticed this.

My thoughts and prayers are with this woman’s family…