Seattle “superhero” gets nose busted in dust-up

real life superherosWith the proliferation of recent movies featuring comic superheroes (Batman, Iron Man, Spiderman, Kick Ass, etc.) I suppose it was only a matter of time before some lunatics decided that it would be a good idea to become “real life” superheroes. You know, dress up in some outrageous costume and become a crime fighter – what could possibly go wrong? (story here)

Phoenix Jones, the real-life superhero who has gotten fame for patrolling the streets of Seattle, found his kryptonite in the guise of two attackers who left him with a broken nose over the weekend.

Armed with a skintight black-and-gold, belted costume, a cape and a fedora, Phoenix Jones suits up at night to fight crime on the streets of Seattle. He’s the leader of a real-life superhero movement called the Rain City Superheroes.

On Saturday, things turned violent when a man held Jones at gunpoint and another broke his nose.

Phoenix Jones

"Real life" moron - Phoenix Jones

Apparently Seattle hasn’t cornered the market on this assholery – it’s a national (worldwide?) movement (more here). According to the Real Life Superhero Manual:


  • Crime fighting patrols and/or reporting illegal actions to Police.
  • Fliers asking for help with specific unsolved crimes.
  • Missing person’s fliers.
  • Promoting social/environmental awareness.
  • Helping the homeless with food/water/blankets.
  • Donating blood


In my mind, Superhero personas (not just dull “codenames”; “personas” meant as “personalities”), costumes and mystique are what make you DIFFERENT (and not superior) from 99% of the people out there who perform good deeds or even crime fighting.

Yes, dressing up like a comic book character does make you different but it certainly won’t strike fear in the hearts of “real life” criminals. Pheonix was lucky that he didn’t get his head shot off. Maybe the crook was laughing too hard to pull the trigger.

If they’re really serious about fighting crime perhaps they should emulate Charles Bronson (Death Wish) or even Michael C. Hall (Dexter).


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