Humorous stories of the day

While most of this blog is anti-government bilious rantings, I do try to inject some humor now and again. Here are two stories that I just couldn’t resist.

Woman assaults cop with um, er, sex toy!

sextoyassault

Meet Carolee Bildsten. The Illinois woman, 56, is facing an aggravated assault rap after she allegedly struck a cop with a sex toy.

An officer from the Gurnee Police Department went to Bildsten’s home last night to investigate a report that she had skipped out on a restaurant bill. While there, the officer was hit with a “rigid feminine pleasure device” wielded by Bildsten, according to a police commander quoted by the Chicago Tribune.

In addition to the assault count, Bildsten was charged with theft of services.

 

Naked burgler arrested – had mouse in his butt. Huh? WTF?

mouseinbutt

A naked South Carolina man who had a computer mouse lodged in his rectum was arrested Saturday evening after he allegedly burglarized a home and later attacked officers responding to a call about the break-in.

Noah Smith, 24, slapped, kicked, and tried to bite Oconee County Sheriff’s Office deputies, who responded by using pepper spray, a Taser, and their batons to subdue the suspect, according to an incident report.

Deputies noted that Smith, pictured in the above mug shot, later told doctors that he could not recall fighting with law enforcement officers. It was in the hospital emergency room where a “physician noticed a mouse could hanging from male subjects rectum. X-rays shown part of the mouse was lodged in the male subjects rectum.” A police representative told TSG that the word “could” was a typo and should have read “cord.”

The police report provides no further insight as to how the mouse ended up inside Smith.

Deputies noted that witnesses surmised that Smith “was most likely under the influence of mushrooms.” Smith was charged with burglary, assault, resisting arrest, and indecent exposure. He is being held without bond in the county jail.

And it’s said that truth is stranger than fiction.

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3 Responses to “Humorous stories of the day”

  1. A mouse?! Really?! I didn’t know one could do such a thing!

  2. Haven’t had a belly laugh like this in ages. These are superlative finds.

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